Thursday, October 16, 2008

What a Job!

There was a time in my life when I DREADED Sunday nights. The closer to bedtime it got, the worse my mood got. I hated it because it was a reminder that I was about to start another week of going to a meaningless job, sitting behind a desk, doing useless things. It wasn't a hard job, it paid well, they treated me nicely...but I absolutely HATED it because I knew it wasn't where I was supposed to be. This was not supposed to be my life, just punching that time clock over and over and over again.

I never thought, never DREAMED, that I would be in a place in my life where I would crave being at my job. But, and I give God ALL the glory for this, I have arrived at that place in my life. For the last four years that I have taught seniors at Calvary Academy, I've had a peace that only comes when you are doing what you know God has called you to do.

When I say I love my job, that's an understatement. I can't believe I get to do this, day after day. And it's because of 2 reasons: first, I love English, and I love to teach. As cocky as it may sound, I'm good at it. I can make the kids love Shakespeare, improve their grammar skills, and teach them to write better.

But it's the second reason that is such a blessing to me: the kids. I love my students. Not in a you-have-to-love-everybody-with-the-love-of-God kind of love...I really love them. They try so hard, day after day, to navigate a life filled with personal issues, school responsibilities, jobs, extra-curricular activities, and family demands.

I think about how I felt when I went through some severely trying personal issues, all while working a 50-hour a week job and taking a full college load. I remember thinking how unfair it was that I had to go through all that and that life wouldn't stop for me. I couldn't take time off from my job because I still needed to get paid. The college professors wouldn't excuse me from assignments or attendance, even though I had not one but TWO traumatic events going on at the same time in my life. I was still expected to keep going through life, keep showing up, keep performing well, and deal with everything on my own time.

I've thought about that a lot lately as I interact with these kids. They go through so much, and yet for the most part they are not excused from their responsibilities because of their personal issues. So many deal with parents fighting and/or divorcing, and the kids still have to show up and do well in classes, or it affects their transcript. There's no place on a college application to explain that the 1st semester D of 10th grade Biology happened because of a really hard time at home. When they break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, there's no time of "mourning" that's allowed by their teachers. And many of them have to still see this person in the classroom and in the hallway! How hard would that be in our adult lives if we got a divorce and then had to come into contact with that person every day?

And then there's the pressure of the future. Did they do well enough in school for the right colleges to look at them? Are they performing well enough on the football field/basketball court/baseball team/cheerleading squad to actually stand out among everybody else that's competing for the same things? Their coach expects them to do their best and push themselves to the limit, even if they really need to be at home doing the Calculus homework they forgot about. Their teacher expects them to have everything finished for class, even if they were at practice really late the night before. And they don't have full control over their decisions yet, so they also have to answer to parents for what they do.

I know a lot of you reading this are adults that are far removed from those that are this age, and you may be rolling your eyes at the degree of sympathy that I feel for these kids. But I've got to tell you, I admire them. They do something EVERY DAY that impresses me. They come into my English class and do their work, learn the material, take the tests. But they also make me laugh, open up about their lives, ask advice, and in general they make me feel just about as blessed as someone could feel. I thank God for calling me to do this, and I thank my students for making it so easy to love my job and to love them.

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