DID I MENTION I HATE LAUNDRY

I hate doing laundry. If you know me, you know that my house is, most of the time, close to spotless. However, I HATE doing laundry. Not so much the actual washing/drying. I hate the folding/hanging up/putting up part. I need everyone to understand how much I despise it before you read this next part. I really, really hate it. Okay...

My husband has just finished his P90X workout (which was the subject of my very first blog, "Inspired"). He worked out 6 days of the week for 90 days, after the kids were asleep, for over an hour each night. He reached the end of his 90 days, and I'm SO PROUD of how he kept his goal of doing this for 90 days. He mentioned that it would be interesting to see what other goals we could accomplish for 90 days.

Which is where the laundry comes in. After some discussion (he says it's all my idea but I'm almost positive I was manipulated in some way) the plan is that I'll commit to doing one load of laundry a night. To some of you, this is no big deal. Some of you perfect, laundry-loving readers are exclaiming right now, "What? Amy, this shouldn't be a big deal...if you do a load every other day or so, the laundry never piles up! Why is this something you have to commit to? Why are you acting like you're signing away your life?"

And I say to you, shut up. I hate laundry. I'm fully aware that the smart thing to do would be to keep it going throughout the week and it would never pile up. I'm smart enough to grasp the concept of laundry physics. The thing is, I have great intentions as I put the clothes in the washer, still good intentions when they go into the dryer. But then, this INTENSE rationalizing-procrastonating evil persona takes over, and I leave them in the dryer. Or, on good days, they make it into a basket (on exceptional days when I've taken a chance and gotten half-caf at Starbucks they get laid out on the couch, but being the good nursing mom that I am, that's really rare). So, the clothes get crumpled, wrinkled, lost, and end up having to be rewashed. You understand the horrible laundry cycle that has me trapped.

So...the goal...I'm going to do a load of laundry a day. Kris kindly pointed out to me that if I do a load a day, eventually I'll run out of clothes. I kindly pointed out to him that with two kids that dirty up at least 2 outfits a day, towels, sheets, bibs, burp rags, blankies, etc. that I'm confident this goal's not going to suffer because of a lack of things to wash. I kindly pointed out some other things to him as well, but that's for another blog...

For Brody...

Dear Brody,

Right now, your mommy is giving birth to you. She is one of my closest friends, and when I look at your daddy and mommy I think about how lucky you're going to be! You are already coming into a home that is filled with so much that so many don't have...

For years your mommy and daddy have been falling more and more in love with each other - you should see how they put each other first - all their friends know that they come first in each others' lives. You are so blessed to have your mommy! She is the type of person that puts her entire soul into anything that she feels is worth doing - and I guarantee you she'll be putting all of her heart and soul into raising and loving you! Not only that, but you have a daddy that will make sure you are raised in a home full of laughter and love...how blessed are you!?!?!

However, the most important thing of all is that you are going to be raised in a home that has the presence of God in it. You will see parents that read the Bible together, and pray together. You will learn from them how to have a relationship with Jesus, and above all else, that is something I hope you never take for granted.

While your parents may make mistakes, there are two things that you should always cling to and treasure, for there are so many that don't have them: parents that will love you with a fierce, protective, unconditional love; and parents that are not leading and raising you on their own, but with the wisdom and guidance of their own Heavenly Father. Again - you are truly blessed.

Consequences

You would think that after a few years of teaching teenagers, nothing would or could shock me anymore. However, one of the beauties of this profession is that these precious children keep everything fresh-nothing old and boring in the world of 12th Grade English!!! Here's what I'm trying to figure out: at what point did it become the responsibility of the adult to cushion the life of the child to the degree that I'm seeing today? I don't mean that they don't need to be protected from danger, and they ABSOLUTELY need their innocence sheltered for as long as is possible...what I mean is that there seems to be this new trend that says if a consequence for an action HURTS them, then by golly let's find a new way to "teach" them a lesson. Don't let the precious children, in any way, suffer for their actions...let's, by all means, work around their schedule and find a consequence that works for them. They are, after all, the bosses...no, wait...

Okay, having two children, I know how hard it can be to punish them when they've done something wrong. I am constantly tempted to put off discipline because I'm tired and don't want to deal with it, or because I know they've already had a bad day, or because, honestly, they just won't like me very much once I hand out the consequence. And there have been times I've given in to that little voice that says, "just this once, let it go." And then I have to deal with my own set of consequences, which revolve around having to then regain the respect of my child as an authority figure. Not a pretty cycle.

However, I regroup, and as a general rule, my child does something wrong, I punish. Why? Because, obviously, I want to prevent future problems, and I hope the punishment will not make them repeat their offense. But also it goes deeper than that. I want to make them understand that the CHOICES they make now will HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!! And not consequences that fit their terms, but consequences that the world hands out to them based simply on their actions!

Tardiness equals getting fired from a job, not spending wisely equals financial troubles, sex equals pregnancy/STDs - these are not consequences where someone can come in and say, "oh, this doesn't work for you? how can I fix it where you like it better? what can I do to make you happy?" THE WORLD WILL NOT REVOLVE AROUND THEM...and yet, in school it seems like that is what they expect -

I didn't study so can you postpone the test? I got caught cheating, so can I just redo the test? I can't make it to detention tomorrow, but Thursday's good for me, so I'll see you then, Mrs. Ricketts... SERIOUSLY??? REALLY???

When did it get like that? My parents barely asked my opinion about where we were going out to eat on Sundays, much less how I'd like to be punished! My principal at my school didn't even talk to the students when they got into trouble, he simply looked at the discipline chart in the handbook, and then handed out the pre-set punishment.

I just think that the harm we are doing to them goes so much deeper than we realize when we consistently fail to discipline for harmful actions. When they try to negotiate with future bosses, agencies, companies, and society forces in general about the consequences they'd like to receive, they are going to hit a brick wall running, and then they will look back and blame us for the disservice we did to them. And that will be OUR consequence...

Inspired

Right now I'm relaxing with the laptop in my...um...lap, and Kris is in the back working out. This is a nightly thing - I collapse, exhausted, and eat something with my feet up in the recliner, praying the whole time Kristyn is in a deep sleep in her crib. Meanwhile, faint sounds of weights clanking and joints popping drift up from our bedroom in the back of the house. I can hear it whenever there's a lull of sound from whatever tv show I'm watching at the time. You'd think I'd feel a little bit of guilt that my husband is in there, at the end of the day, pushing himself to the limit all of the sake of improving his health, his body, his spirit, and here I am trying to figure out how to fit the remote, cell phone, glass of chocolate milk, and bowl of snack food all on the arms of the recliner so I don't have to move. You'd think I'd feel guilty. And honestly, I did at first, when he first started his 90-day plan. But then I realized that most nights I'm up at least twice, sometimes 4 or 5 times, pushing my own body to the limit by nursing, rocking, patting, singing, begging, and praying for sleep. I think that right now I'm still in survival mode. I can't focus on trying to exercise or organize-I have to focus on not passing out while teaching class; I have to focus on Josh when he asks me, in his precious 3-year old husky voice, to "wisten to the song that I'm singin just ONE mowuh time pleeeeeeease."

So...I don't feel guilty anymore. But I do feel inspired-almost EVERY night Kris picks up Josh from preschool, comes home, and if he's home before me, fixes the whole supper. Then he helps with the kids the rest of the night, gives Josh a bath, and does housework, laundry, etc. And then-this is where I would FLAKE OUT-although he's mentally and physically EXHAUSTED-he changes, goes into the bedroom, and does his P90X hour - hour 1/2 workout. Every day. For 90 days. While I'm not in any way inspired to go in there and join him, this has changed my perspective on so much else in my life. It's just something that stays with me as I go throughout my day, that I am part of a team that excels at what we do. His success at this has reinforced for me something that he and I have marvelled at for years - God knew there was something special about the two of us as a team, and we shouldn't ever take that for granted. And, believe me, we've been through enough where we don't EVER take that for granted. Together, we have managed to battle severe marital troubles that would have blown up most marriages, and come out on top. We have conquered the sleepless nights of two infants, the terrible twos of a VERY male little boy, and oh-so-much-more. We have, hand-in-hand, dealt with packing & unpacking several homes, making and losing money, starting and quitting jobs, college classes, all-nighters, hospital stays, pregnancies, miscarriages, and oh-so-much-more. We have quit smoking together. We have grieved over the devastating loss of my mother together. And oh-so-much-more. We are the only two people who truly understand each other, and it is in a way I never would have thought possible unless I believed in the divine power of someone who matches couples together from His throne above.

As I go throughout my day, I think about how I'm married to a man who has the strength to do what he's been doing. It inspires me to keep going during this time in my life when I feel like I can't take another step or breathe another breath without collapsing. I know Kris wouldn't have been able to do everything so far alone, without me. And I am positive, beyond any doubt, that I never would be where I am today without him. God gave us to each other because He knew what we could be together-and tonight, I'm perfectly content to let my part of it be here in the recliner with my cell phone, remote, and bowl of Coco Puffs while he's sweating away enough for the two of us.