Inspired

Right now I'm relaxing with the laptop in my...um...lap, and Kris is in the back working out. This is a nightly thing - I collapse, exhausted, and eat something with my feet up in the recliner, praying the whole time Kristyn is in a deep sleep in her crib. Meanwhile, faint sounds of weights clanking and joints popping drift up from our bedroom in the back of the house. I can hear it whenever there's a lull of sound from whatever tv show I'm watching at the time. You'd think I'd feel a little bit of guilt that my husband is in there, at the end of the day, pushing himself to the limit all of the sake of improving his health, his body, his spirit, and here I am trying to figure out how to fit the remote, cell phone, glass of chocolate milk, and bowl of snack food all on the arms of the recliner so I don't have to move. You'd think I'd feel guilty. And honestly, I did at first, when he first started his 90-day plan. But then I realized that most nights I'm up at least twice, sometimes 4 or 5 times, pushing my own body to the limit by nursing, rocking, patting, singing, begging, and praying for sleep. I think that right now I'm still in survival mode. I can't focus on trying to exercise or organize-I have to focus on not passing out while teaching class; I have to focus on Josh when he asks me, in his precious 3-year old husky voice, to "wisten to the song that I'm singin just ONE mowuh time pleeeeeeease."

So...I don't feel guilty anymore. But I do feel inspired-almost EVERY night Kris picks up Josh from preschool, comes home, and if he's home before me, fixes the whole supper. Then he helps with the kids the rest of the night, gives Josh a bath, and does housework, laundry, etc. And then-this is where I would FLAKE OUT-although he's mentally and physically EXHAUSTED-he changes, goes into the bedroom, and does his P90X hour - hour 1/2 workout. Every day. For 90 days. While I'm not in any way inspired to go in there and join him, this has changed my perspective on so much else in my life. It's just something that stays with me as I go throughout my day, that I am part of a team that excels at what we do. His success at this has reinforced for me something that he and I have marvelled at for years - God knew there was something special about the two of us as a team, and we shouldn't ever take that for granted. And, believe me, we've been through enough where we don't EVER take that for granted. Together, we have managed to battle severe marital troubles that would have blown up most marriages, and come out on top. We have conquered the sleepless nights of two infants, the terrible twos of a VERY male little boy, and oh-so-much-more. We have, hand-in-hand, dealt with packing & unpacking several homes, making and losing money, starting and quitting jobs, college classes, all-nighters, hospital stays, pregnancies, miscarriages, and oh-so-much-more. We have quit smoking together. We have grieved over the devastating loss of my mother together. And oh-so-much-more. We are the only two people who truly understand each other, and it is in a way I never would have thought possible unless I believed in the divine power of someone who matches couples together from His throne above.

As I go throughout my day, I think about how I'm married to a man who has the strength to do what he's been doing. It inspires me to keep going during this time in my life when I feel like I can't take another step or breathe another breath without collapsing. I know Kris wouldn't have been able to do everything so far alone, without me. And I am positive, beyond any doubt, that I never would be where I am today without him. God gave us to each other because He knew what we could be together-and tonight, I'm perfectly content to let my part of it be here in the recliner with my cell phone, remote, and bowl of Coco Puffs while he's sweating away enough for the two of us.